Lesson 2 of 30: My Soul is not God, God is God.

God, in His perfect wisdom, created every human being in His image, which means, like Him, we are compromised of three in one. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - The soul, body, and spirit. What is the soul? The mind, will, and emotion of a person. The soul is where the throne of our heart is found and the place most individuals struggle to master in transitioning from childhood to adulthood. This brings me to the second thing I wish I knew before I was 30. In this four-year wilderness, I learned how to remove my emotions from the throne of my heart, and allow King Jesus to take His place. May His Will be done in my life, on earth as it is in heaven, amen.

In year one of this wilderness, the Lord called me to walk away from my medical practice to pursue Theology School and full-time ministry. Since I was 6 years old, I knew I wanted to be a medical doctor; more specifically, I wanted to deliver babies and help "the mommy" heal. After obtaining my dream in my early 20s and giving my life to Christ in my mid-20s, there I was shortly after, walking away from my dream and my hard work in obedience to God. Initially, I was super zealous about entering into full-time ministry, saying yes, Lord, whatever You say. However, a couple of months after closing my practice, it hit me hard: I am not a doctor anymore. Certain comforts, such as the approval of friends and family, and other things I took for granted, dried up along with my finances. I was rejected and devastated. It felt like all my hard work and passion had been overlooked by God; it was all gone. My feelings told me to abort the mission and go back to my medical practice; my feelings told me I was inadequate, foolish, and sabotaging myself; my feelings told me I was a failure, My feelings told me God forgot about me, but-- God's Plan Is Good No Matter How We Feel.

Four years later, I see more clearly that God was simply expanding me. Now, I am not only a doctor of the body but of the soul and spirit as well as God's path led me to complete a Master's in Counselling Psychology, a path that Theology School opened for me. Indeed, God knows what is best for His children and His kingdom, and now I am better positioned to be about His purpose and do what I love - heal and help people heal. The soul, no matter how experienced it is, can not compare to the wisdom of God. Everything still isn't full clear, and in the midst of this transition I hold on to God's Word:

Our soul is an informant, not our God. It speaks — loud sometimes — about what it wants, what it fears, and what it feels. But, it’s not meant to lead us. It informs us, points out where we are hurting or hoping, but it doesn’t have the authority to decide our steps. As a child doesn't have the authority to determine their parent's steps, well, they shouldn't atleast, we have the responsibility to be our soul's parent. We all know how things quickly fall apart when they are out of order.

God gave us feelings for a reason, that reason is for us to worship Him. They’re good, they are a part of how we are made in God's image, but they aren’t God. They tell us where we need healing or where something feels wrong, but they need His truth to direct them. Repenting from the idolatry of self is realizing that while my soul might inform me, only God can transform me and guide me to The True Way that leads to Life.

CONCLUSION

Truly, I tell you, the underdevelopment of emotional intelligence is the underdevelopment of adulthood. For my 30's, I commit to learning how to hear my soul and then surrender what I hear to God. To feel deeply but follow God fully, because true peace isn’t found in chasing my desires or trusting my own wisdom — it’s found in seeking His will and trusting Him. Not just because He's God but because He is God who is good. Let the crowd say, "all the time" amen.

Now that you know, let's grow,

-Kimrose🌹