Lesson 13 of 30: Needing Help Isn't Weakness, Asking For It Is Strength.

For much of my life, I thought strength meant doing everything on my own. I believed asking for help was a weakness, a sign that I was not capable enough or strong enough. But this season of my life has taught me otherwise. Needing help does not make me weak. The recognition of it, and the courage to seek community, makes me wise.

Dr. Kimrose Goodall, Medical Doctor, Counselling Psychologist, Christian Life Coach and Executive Director of the Shelter Alliance.

Looking back, I see where this belief was planted. I grew up in a family that was female-dominant, where the women carried the weight and the men were hardly present. Strength was survival, and weakness had no place. Tears were not comforted but corrected. After losing a pet, my grief was silenced with sharp words: “Stop yuh foolish crying, yuh love attention suh!” Curiosity was not welcomed either. Questions met with sighs and snapping tongues, as though seeking to understand was an inconvenience. So I learned to bury my feelings, silence my questions, and wear strength like armor. Vulnerability was failure, and needing clarity was weakness.

It was not long before that personal conditioning merged with a wider cultural narrative. The “strong Black woman”, a toxic mantle woven through Afro-Caribbean and Black American society . It told me I had to be unbreakable, unshakable, and independent at all times. It praised resilience but despised softness. It honored survival but denied the need for support. And so I carried it , the pressure to always be dependable, always be composed, always be the one holding everything together, no matter the cost.

But in this season, God is teaching me a different truth. I am no longer that little girl being scolded for crying. I am no longer bound to the toxic expectation of strength without support. Right now, I am leading as Executive Director of the first homeless shelter in the County God led me to, creating bylaws, revising programs, hiring and overseeing staff, training volunteers, and keeping them encouraged. I am relaunching my women’s ministry, which requires emails answered, programs built, content created, and intercessors who will pray this vision into being. And I am preparing for marriage - a sacred transition that carries its own weight. Add to that a temporary career shift from medicine to nonprofit leadership and adjusting to life in a new country, and the truth becomes undeniable: I cannot and should not do this alone.

This is the wisdom I am walking in now is that help is not weakness, it is God’s provision.

Scripture reminds us:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.”- Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

I shared this scripture in my last post, but it continues to shape me in this season. The shelter will not thrive because of me alone. The ministry will not grow because of me alone. Even my marriage will not flourish because of me alone. All of it will flourish because of the Holy Spirit breathing life into Godly community, the body of Christ, each part supplying what the other lacks.

Even Jesus modeled this for us. In Gethsemane, He invited His disciples to keep watch and pray with Him. If the Son of God asked for help in His hour of need, why should I be ashamed to do the same?

Conclusion

For my 30’s, I choose to break free from false strength and embrace true wisdom. I choose to see help as a blessing, not a burden. I choose community over isolation, partnership over pride, and grace over self-reliance. Because God never designed me to build alone. Needing help does not make me weak, it makes me wise enough to invite others into the story.

Now that you know, let’s grow,

- Kimrose🌹